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Friday, November 4, 2011

My last wish


The cold wind rushes
Sending chill to my bones
The weather has changed
From the golden autumn
To the frosty winter

The approach of coldness
A harsh reminder
Of my own condition
Of my remaining days
In this impermanent world

I wish to walk the street
Feel the snowflakes on my fingertips
Smile at the passing strangers
Dance among the strangers
Before death lay its icy claws on me

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Prelude to the sacrifice


He woke up cursing his throbbing head and check his table clock at the side of his bed which  read 4.00 am in the morning- his time for morning jog which he had been doing since his high school days. Whispering a few more curses, he was out of his front door in ten minutes sprinting towards his destination- a small hilltop that over looked the sleepy town in the morning which would soon be bursting with activity as the day progressed.

His morning routine had always relaxed his muscles and gave him the solitary peace he needed to unfold the day. As he jogged, his headache continued which made him curse again aloud;
“Why didn’t I stop myself when Namgay went for a third round of that bloody ara! Damn! My head aches so”.
Cursing on his foolishness he continued his jog and reached a turn on the road when he felt a sharp pain on his chest which almost chocked him. Suddenly come to a halt, he tried to take a deep breath. The other joggers thought he was taking some rest and waved as they passed him. He could merely try to smile and wave back. As the second passed, the pain started to suffocate him and he passed out.
When he came to his sense, he found himself surrounded by strangers in a strange room with lots of tubes connected to his body. He looked around alarmed and a man in white coat smiled and came towards him. After making a few queries about his personal information, he left the room. Slowly the other strangers too followed the first man. He was left alone. His first thought was to call his only sister but he decided against it because it would mean her travelling all the way for two long days with two small children and he didn’t want his sister to go through that.
A few minutes passed and he saw his friend Namgay dashing through the door with a bewildered eyes.
“What happened?”
“I donno. I guess I passed out”.
“Thank god you are alright now. Any way let me check with the doc”.

Sonam smiled through the pain which seemed to have somehow subsided said; “hey. Don’t worry man. I think its due to the stress with work and I am sure it’s due to the drinks we had last night. Chill man!”

When the door closed behind his friend a chill went through his spine as he recollected a similar scene. His father was occupying a similar bed and his mother was beside his bedridden father. He had been called from his college saying that his father was sick but he had no idea of how sick he was until he saw him lying almost lifeless as if waiting to see his children before he departed from this world. He saw his father breathing his last in the similar room and the thought made him scream which brought the nurse attendant to his aid in a matter of seconds. 

He was given seductive and kept under observation. Later in the evening, when we fully regained his consciousness he decided to go home but the doctors advised him against it and he had to spend a night in the hospital. He was informed that his was a case of mild cardiac arrest and was advised to seek medical help. He agreed and he started getting the medical aid and continued his work with the same zest at his office but he felt the change in the attitude of his colleagues against him. He was looked with pitiful eyes and he hated it when the people whispered behind him as if he had some rare disease.

He wanted to live a full life and didn’t want any sympathy from people around him reminding him of his heart problem and decided that he would move away from the place. He got transferred to a branch office in the east as manager and started working there. He kept mostly to himself but made a few acquaintances who didn’t know about his story. The people in the area came to look upon him as eligible bachelor and many parents tried to make an extra effort to woo him as a potential son-in-law but his decision remained adamant for marriage had no room in his life. He had seen enough problems in his sister’s life to understand that it gave nothing but sorrow.  

Thus he continued to live among the strangers and continued his medical treatment on regular basis. He would disappear from his office every two months on the so called tour and people started doubting whether he had a family some place away but none asked him about it. No one knew that the time he spent away from office was spent in the hospital examining his poor heart and get consultation from his doctor.

The three years he spent among the strangers made him understand the life better. He had more time to himself to reflect on his life and he saw life in a new light. The small community lived in harmony and every occasion was celebrated as a family inclusive him. He started participating in such celebration and came to know a few people but never revealed about himself. He spent money regularly to his sister every month and saved for his two nieces whom he hadn’t seen since their birth. He kept their pictures at his office and home and called them every fortnight but his relationship with his drunkard brother-in-law remained same.

Three years of solitude and his life had to end in the flood that could have claimed the life of others had he not sacrificed his life.

As Sonam breathe his last, a small girl couldn’t help her tears. There were many like her who owed their life to the man who had just sacrificed his own for people who even didn’t know him well. The girl made a small prayer to the departed soul and wondered about the man who had saved her a few hours ago from being washed away by the gushing river. The figure though known by all was a stranger to all yet he made his mark at the dusk of his life.
(fictitious work purely based on writer's imagination)

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

The sacrifice


http://practicalaction.org
The day was like any other summer day with the heavy down pour which made every sensible person to stay in the cozy corner of his dwelling. The continuous rain had swollen the river to the extent that it was threatening to overflow the bank yet the people residing there had no worries because there hadn’t been any life-threatening incidence in the valley till date and they were very confident that the valley would continue to remain so till the end of time.

Sonam, one prominent inhabitant in the area was sitting near the hearth relaxing with a cup of ara (locally brewed alcohol) after the hectic day in the office. The time on the wall cock showed half past seven in the evening and he felt quite drowsy. Making a quick dinner using the noodles (which he kept for some emergencies) he hurriedly ate it  and went to bed. 

The torrent rain on his roof made it impossible for him to sleep though he was dead tired. He turned and tossed on his bed. After sometime, he knew that sleep was unattainable and went for a second round of ara. As he moved towards the cabinet where he kept his prized possession (the different brand of drinks)  we felt something wet on his feet which shook all the drowsiness off him. He was baffled and put on all the lights. What he saw took all this sanity away. The water was gushing into the house at an alarming speed. His first and the only thought was to get away from the room. Without a second thought, he rushed out screaming; “Flood…Flood…everyone….get out!”

Many people came out shouting with torches, carrying their children. They made way to the hilltop some distance away. Sonam stayed back helping some needy neighbours and carrying their children to the safer distance. He made several such trips and his limbs ached due to cold but he didn’t stop. His only thought was to save his neighbours. He worked selflessly to save the people he came to love during his three years stay in the area. When the rescue team arrived, he had already guided his people to safety and erected some tents with the help of the inhabitants.

He was highly praised for his selfless service. The people flocked around him to thank him and he smiled acknowledging them but no one noticed his tired limbs and his haggled breath. His heart was giving away and this time, no doctors were there to save him. He breathe his last as the dawn broke and he had a smile on his face as he greeted the new day in his passing.

(To be continued…)
Note: Fictitious work purely based on writer's imagination 
 

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Had I had my way…



Sitting on the balcony, my thoughts wander and I start thinking about all those experiences that I had and wonder whether my life had been worth living. Had I had my way, I would have embraced the death sooner instead of seeing my family face the terror on my account.
Every day they put a brave face and try to smile through the tears but I know what they are going through. It had been that way since the day they discovered about my illness. It had been an ill-fated winter morning when I blacked out in my office and my colleague found me senseless in the office. After a few chaotic moments they had transported me to the hospital where I had been tested through various medical examinations. The doctors did not find anything wrong with my report and I was sent home after a few days in the hospital.
But as I started passing out more frequently, my family got anxious and I had to go another series of medical examination where I was diagnosed with leukemia.
Now after two years of medication and a series chemotherapy treatment at the cancer hospital in Kolkata, I am home but my condition is haven’t improved much. I regularly visit the hospital for review and try to live a normal life but my health is deteriorating.
Every evening as I go to sleep, I look up into the face of my family fearing that it would be the last time I would be seeing them and I can see the same dread in their eyes.
All I can do for now is pray that my death be easy and early so that my family doesn’t have to go through another day of dread and wretchedness.
(*Note: This is a real story of a friend )

Sunday, August 28, 2011

The emptiness

In a crowded street
I try to find my way
but I know I am lost
lost in my own thoughts
 thoughts of loneliness
unaware of my surrounding.


people walk pass me
giving a quizzical look
not daring to ask
for they are aware
for my need of isolation
to sort out my thoughts


A hole inside my heart
makes me breathe hard
In dire need of warmth
I shun those memories
but it makes me feel worse
for I am empty within

Monday, August 22, 2011

Wonder why


The immense desire in my heart
To kiss my land of birth
Before I fade from this mortal world
The world that despise me


The humanity seems suddenly ruthless
For the pursuit of materialistic bliss
I too have joined the race of callousness
And in the process lost my ideals

I have had enough of this insensitivity
Where a blood can deceive another
Never had I seen such cruelty
And malice of the other

Gone are the days of principles
The trust and bonds of togetherness
The feelings of shared alliance
Only vile and evil resides.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Time has come


Looking gaunt and pale
I wait for my call
The call that had been long coming
But my folks wouldn’t let go of me

I remind them the law of impermanence
Whisper to them the songs of unrequited love
The tales of blessed togetherness
And the waiting farewell

My spectral thin skin
My feeble wan look
Sends chill to their heart
For now my time has come.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Yearning


Feeling the warm breeze on my rippled skin;
The breeze which soothes my nerve,
Where the sores are teeming up,
Consuming my frail energy.

Seeing the people passing by,
Some in haste, some leisurely,
All on move but me,
And I eye them enviously.

Gazing from the balcony,
I stretch my eyes as far as it can take,
To capture in the days note from afar,
For I cannot venture outside.

The summer clouds gathers on the horizon,
Promising torrent rain,
The rain that I have been yearning for,
For the last dance before my heavenly flight.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Dance


Reclining on my bed,
Listening to the platter of raindrops,
Smelling the fresh summer breeze,
I feel myself rejuvenate.

The battle


Lost in my thought
I recollect the time
When I was sturdy
Unlike my present state

Monday, June 6, 2011

DEATH


Often had I wondered
How I would meet you
Never have I dreamt
You would choose me sooner

Friday, March 25, 2011

Loving someone

“Loving someone is never an assurance that someone should love us back but to keep loving…” is something that I heard during my high school days. The words sounded hollow at that time because I could not comprehend the real meaning. I was always sure that if love did happened to me, I would take it as a gift and share it with the one fated with me. Never did I realize that such gift is bestowed to the fortunate one only.

Friday, March 18, 2011

My untamed heart


Sitting on the crossroad

Thinking of those gone days

And the days yet to come

Unable to comprehend my present