As I lay on my bed waiting for death
to ease me from the pain that I had been going through since the time I had
learnt about my incurable cancer, my thought travels back to the time where I
had been as normal as any other around me. If only I hadn’t been so naïve as I
was then…
There
comes a time when the secure life that one is leading would seem like a cage
where you feel like a caged bird who would resolve to go to any extent for the
sake of freedom; freedom from the normal schedule and explore some wild desires
which sometimes lay hidden until you would feel that you would do anything to
get a small piece of freedom not realizing the pitfalls that awaits you in
every single wrong steps you take. Naïve as I was then I did not realize the
dangers that laid ahead for venturing out of my secluded haven.
I
dared to venture out of my safe haven to explore the dark adventures of doom. I
was blissfully happy and contented. I don’t know how I had survived the mask of
a happy home maker and kept my family happy while I was sharing bed with my
lover on every pretext I could be away from home. My lover understood my
position and didn't demand more than I could give.
My
life to the family and friends looked perfect but only two people knew about the
double life I lead. We kept the affairs a secret and I was able to pretend to
have a normal life while in reality my deceitfulness was eating me. It could be
due to my deception or some normal phenomenon but some years later I was diagnosed
with cancer and had been undergoing treatment ever since with no positive
outcome. My family hasn't got any clue about my deception yet and I intend to
keep it that way.
My
lover who happens to be my family friend visits me often in the hospital and we
talk about all the good times we had before I learned about my disease. During his
visits he asks me whether I would have left my family for him for which I
honestly respond that I would never have left my family for him even though I
loved him. He smiles his knowing smile and says he would wait for me to change
my mind though he knows I would never have time to do that.
I
know we don’t get second chance in life but if ever I am given a second chance
I would never be able to make decision because I am doomed to love two person
at a time. Thus I wait for the death to lay its icy hands on me to ease my pain
that proliferate as the clock clicks away…
(Fictitious work purely based on writer's imagination)
